Ashtara Q&A

Excerpt from The Path of the Spiritual Warrior on the subject of relationships:

I recently decided to open the book, The Path of the Spiritual Warrior randomly. I am always blown away by the wisdom presented in the book. The page opened to this Q&A session with Ashtara, page 107

“So, we will continue with your questions. We are all one “mush,” like the butterfly,

the cocoon. The caterpillar at some point becomes one mush and then the butterfly

emerges through that teeny, teeny little hole that they have to struggle their way out

of, and if somebody helps and breaks open the hole, they can’t fly.

Q. (NB) You mentioned relinquishment of relationships. When you are relinquishing

a relationship, or it is being relinquished, with or without your consent, there’s that

“judgment piece.” How do you manage it? Do you just accept it as part of the plan and

just let go because you are relinquishing the pain, the judgment, the separation to be

back in that Unity Consciousness? Can you tell us more about that please?

A. There are many levels and aspects to this answer. Just as I am his feminine

aspect, but in essence we’re all one, just as there are so many levels and dimensions

and ways of seeing things, so too relationships are there for the purpose of being a

mirror, for the purpose of fulfilling contracts, for the purpose of standing as an actor

in your life in order to trigger you and be triggered. It’s all, as they say, grist for the

mill, and, a lot of relationship stuff is about clarity. “Why am I in this relationship?

What’s in it for me? What’s in it for them? What is the nature of our communication,

of our love, of our connection, of our caring? Are we here because of the kids, or if

we break up what will happen to the kids?” - the old stories; or if it’s “Oh, you know,

a friend is always talking about us behind our backs, but they’re part of our scene.”

There are so many factors. It will always come back to your going into your heart

and looking at the question, “Where can I love more? Perhaps my loving me more

means that I can let go of this relationship. Trying to fix it never works. That takes me

out of my center and there are times when we’re done. The karmic connection has

played itself until it’s worn out, and it’s time to just say ‘I love you, goodbye.’” It’s, we’re

going to use the word “judge,” it’s for you to judge for yourself what is the appropriate

response for you, not judge in the way of condemning another, but in the way of

deciding, of ascertaining for yourself where you are at on your soul journey.

When this one quit smoking pot a number of years ago, a whole slew of people

started dropping out of his life and he was so grateful because his life went to a whole

new vibration, with his channeling, with his connection to his clarity. And so, when

you make a shift in your consciousness, it affects your relationships with others. It’s

appropriate sometimes, and sometimes you do not even need to do anything, they

just fall by the wayside of their own accord. Sometimes you have to say “You know,

I considered what you said or that place where we never really had a clear written

agreement, and I decided I’m not interested anymore.” Or whatever.

You have to use your own assessment of what is right for you, within your own

Self-authority. John Henry’s self-authority business is powerful. If you do not have

self-authority, you cannot stand in your power and say “No!” You cannot demarcate

boundaries, you cannot have clear agreements, you cannot forgive, you cannot

love. It is the foundation of not giving away your power, of not feeling obligated to

somebody or some other institution to continue to drag yourself to work every day to

pay the mortgage, because it’s not working for you. Relationship is your connection

to everything around you. It is vital for you to find your own clarity within your own

self-authority and to assess how much you can come from a place of love and non-

judgement. It does not mean you do not make painful decisions and that there’s no

such thing as “tough love.” There are those who have difficulty with their children

and children difficulty with their parents and siblings, and it’s all part of the ‘grist for

the mill’ relationships. You say “Oh no, where’s my beloved. I want a relationship. I’ve

been alone for so long” and then you look around and you see how many relationships

are on the drawing table or at the abattoir, waiting to be slaughtered because they’re

not working. So, you have to reconsider everything. “Maybe I don’t want this

anymore” Is there such a thing as this ideal, romanticized relationship whether it be

friendship or partnership or cooperative between organizations and members and

the whole caboodle? Everything is open to examination and needs to be available for

transformation.

So, you examine everything with the same clarity, keeping that sword of truth in

your scabbard and when you need to draw it and say “Okay, I’m clear. I have to cut

this tie, and I can do it in the most loving way possible, and if it is with somebody I

don’t like, I can choose to do it with a jibe or a smart-ass comment, but why should

I go there? Why don’t I just say “I love you, thank you.” Do Ho’oponopono.60 “I’m

sorry, please forgive me, I love you, thank you,” and be done with it. And this is the

path Old Chinese, Chung Fu is recommending. Look it up if you do not know it, the

Ho’oponopono, and recite it to yourself about everything, everyone that you have an

issue with, and see what changes. It’s about forgiving, because you are going to that

place where it’s coming from you. It’s not about them any longer. Peace.”